Mandy!!!!
Well I was struggling a lot in the beginning of the week and went on
until near the end. I am just fighting myself and my emotions and its
a tough battle. :( I almost gave up on my mission. I felt like I
wanted to go home because I was just feeling like I don't belong here
and that I am not contributing anything here. Also, I was feeling like
I had no purpose on a mission and that my dream was ruined by
something and that I ruined my mission somehow. :( It was pretty bad.
I went on exchanges on Wednesday hoping to advice from my district
leader and in fact the district meeting was really good that day as
well. After lunch we had a lesson with one of their investigators and
she is awesome! We had it at the church and near the end I asked her
if I could play the piano ( the lesson was on Chasity and I just
didn't really feel the Spirit that strong) and I asked Elder Reupena
(district leader) to sing. It was really awesome and I bore my
testimony and I asked her to be baptized and she finally accepted for
March 26! She said that she was going to actually suprise them the day
before and ask them to baptize her. So the exchange started out really
good for him and me. Everytime I go on exchanges with him he always
seems to get lost and I always end up finding where we need to go.
Well we get lost again and we were trying to find where this address
was. Oh and I forgot to put this in: he has this tiny bike that is
like for Hayden and its really junky. I am in an area that is really
hilly and he takes the really nice bike. So I am always far behind him
trying to catch up and I am working really hard getting really sweaty
in 20 degree weather. So I finally find the house and we past it like
5 times and the address is in huge letters. I am a little frustrated
but I dont act like it cuz I really dont care so maybe I wasnt but I
am now. haha We have dinner and then we tract in this one area. I
kinda critiqued him saying that he wasnt doing what he told us that
morning in district meeting and he told me that I am annoying. So I
stopped talking to him and he doesnt talkt to me the rest of the night
and morning and until we leave. So we leave the area to go home and he
just leaves me in the dust and we are going on freeways (remember I am
on this junky bike) going up and down on hills. So I have no idea
where I am going and I dont know where he is and I just had it. I was
going up this hill and I got off and started to say, "Why am I here,
what is my point, I dont get it, this is dumb, I want to go home but
then I would feel like I am not strong enough." it was tough. I got
back on the bike and I found the appartment and get in and he was in
the bathroom. I just sat outside cooling off and remember he doesnt
talk to me. I was hoping to have a PPI but we dont and I was just in a
pickle. Thursday I call President saying that I need to schedule to
get drugs because I was almost out and I also told him that I am
thinking about going home. He asked me what was going on and I told
him I just dont feel like I am doing all that great. He told me that I
was doing better than what he thought I would be (because of the
letters from the doctors and my condition I guess) but I just wasnt
feeling that way. Friday, I felt like we should tract in this one area
and the first door we knock on the man, Matt, let us in. He told us he
knows a lot about the church that he shook President Hinkley's hand
and talked to him for a bit. I was thinking, wow that is every members
dream. haha He had a favorite BoM chapter, 2 Nephi 31. I asked him if
we could have a lesson and he said that he was just going out for
dinner and that we go lucky because he usually isnt home. He also said
that the night before he was praying and asking God where he needs to
be and what he needs to do and then we show up the next day. Elder
Steel then tells him that this is no coincidence and that we were led
by God to you. I asked him again if we could just read 2 Nephi 31 with
him and he agreed. The Spirit was so strong. We told him that he needs
to continue to read the BoM and that he know what he needs to do and
that is to be baptized. He said that he knows. We have him say the
closing prayer and it was very angelic. Then Elder Steel invited him
to be baptized and he said he would. First time meeting him!!! :) It
was awesome! He committed to be baptized on April 3 between the
conferences. It was awesome and later that night I saw him in his car
smoking and told him he needs to quite. So I took the pack from him
and he said he is going to start. :D Then after that door the next
door we knocked on (next door I guess) it was a mom of 6 kids who are
looking for a church. We couldnt go in because of the rule of three
but we left her the mormon.org card and gave her our number. Later
that night we got a text from her saying that her daughter was real
excited to meet with us and asked us what a stake was. That was cool
cuz she was checking it out and already doing what we said. Then on
Sunday we had Matt call us and set up the appointment and that was
awesome because he is serious and we know he is committed. Then we
found a less active with 5 children that are not baptized and she
wants to come back. So it was awesome!!!! But I still feel like I dont
contribute. :/ What am I doing wrong? I feel like I am not getting
anything out of studying most of the times and I just dont seem like I
am "treasuring up the word." I feel lazy and now complainy. Im sorry.
I just didnt have my PPI and I need to discuss it with someone. :/ But
I love you Mandy!!! The weather is getting warmer now, we will get
those days were it is very windy (45mph) and its really cold but we
work so hard on our bikes to get to places. I am excited for spring as
well. I am tired of the snow. I really want to see the fall though
with all those colors. :) Thank you for the letter. I loved the
poster! It was nice seeing all the neices and nephews, boy i miss
them. I love my family. I thought the story was hillarious!!! hahahaha
Mandy that is so funny, I am telling my companion about it. haha Well
I need to write my Presidents letter. I will talk to you later. :)
MAKE YOUR MORMON.ORG PROFILES!!!!!!
Love,
Elder David Mackey
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